The Unexpected

I feel inadequate is all!
Not knowing what you know
Or might perceive
What is truth
What is not
Wrong footed me
And off balance
No conception
Of what you might expect
Only that I will be for you
The unexpected

Dream state drum

I know this music!
Drums in my head,
Changing reality
What should I do
Stop listening
Stay in the one place
Steady state
No dreams
Except sleeping ones
No colours on the eyelids
No sounds beneath sound in my ears
No travelling
Except in train and planes
No being in the other's joy
No being in the other's skin
Just one place
And comfortable
But not enough
I know this music
Drumming in my head
And glory in it
Thanking God

Taint

Genocide,
A short word
For a long sin.
A scar
That becomes
A birthmark.
My people!
Your people!
By what right?
Generation
By generation,
Survivors
Struggling
To survive,
In a world
Made toxic
By denial
But haunted
By memory.

Janus

I believed in you,
Took you at face value,

Thought you were sincere.
But you were just surviving;
Another face grown for the occasion!
Give the people what they want!
Not an original then?
No, but a one off!
Really?
There are plenty out there!
Yes, on further investigation,
I’d agree!

Forties Child

She grew up in the fifties!

Then women all bore children,
Or wanted to.
And decent men
Had been to war,
Certain in an uncertain world,
With old values unravelling.
But she was different
In odd ways!
A pacifist
In the time of conscription!
Later she wore kinky boots
And miniskirts,
Or walked barefoot in the park.
And old ladies warned her
That she'd catch her death!
But all she caught
Were the Stones
On Radio Caroline.

Confusion

I would dream
If I could
Waking or sleeping
But I don't

I have a map
In my head
For the place
Of dreams
But I don't use it

I know there are
Others there
I know they have
Answers
But I don't find them

Lent

Fasting
Giving up

Purging
Purifying
Life paired down
Made bare
And laid bare
Withdrawn
Simplified
And deconstructed

Something about the beat!

A street band,
Pan pipes and shaman drum.
And you were dancing

Something about the beat
Stopped me
And kept me there.

CDs on sale.
I bought just one of two.
Lived to regret it.

You kept on dancing,
Something about the beat.
Are you still dancing?

Fascination

Do you know that I see?
Your tricks and turns.
Your dance weaving its spell.

You do not smile.
You do not look me in the eye.
Do you know that I see?

I do not want you
To entrance me.

Still I slip so sweetly
Down and down
Into that tainted quicksand.

Does it not matter
That I know you see?

Penitential

I have looked for forgiveness

A long term search.
Forgiveness for sins remembered
And for those forgotten.
Forgiveness for sins not yet committed
But certain.

Sad isn't it
To carry this burden?
It limits,
And constrains choice.
Greater sins
To avoid the lesser.

Why would we choose
To pass on such misery?

Spirit Music

I waited

And I'm waiting again.

And dreaming

As I did then

Long ago.

Far away I had

The same dream.

Now, it's a new day.

And, again you show me

A wisp of reality.

But you play with my dreams

As you play with your music.

Making for me a lovely melody

That's lost on the wind

And forgotten.